When all else has failed: Cry out, then Listen!

It's amazing, how when we ask he answers. How when I finally give up again, he comes to my rescue.

Last week I was frustrated, still am but better now. He gave me a verse and I read it and I wrote it and I spoke it straight to him with the ounces I had left that day.

Lord, Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.

Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.

~ Psalm 31:2-4

He did, that very evening as a matter of fact! He heard me and now as I look back I am reminded "What an amazing God we serve"

He loves me and he loves you! No matter what we do, what we think or how we act...he loves us each and every one.

I was dropping off little voices to blend with the choir when in the hall of the north wing I found his answer! They stood there talking, deciding what tables to use and whether to brew coffee.

The workbooks, brand new, still with the cardboard smell, lie there on the table drawing me. I had decided no more workbooks. I don't finish, I never finish so what's the point in starting. I'll just keep doing my own thing!

I know he knows all but I think, often, I can out plan him. I surrendered my plan and humbled myself to pick up the pen, black on white, I wrote my name, the only one in written ink. The others had all signed up by the deadline. I lifted a book from the stack of twenty and trusted this was what he wanted me to do, Break Free from the pattern, Break Free from all that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. (Heb 12:1)

The video was amazing! The same words I used "Not the same thing, again!" were used and I was touched, by the one who cares so much for me.

Not the same old stuff, again?

Redundant, what is He trying to teach me in the same place I was!

Beat up, feeling worth less than I know He sees.

Do we always come back over and over, just a little farther than before? This time I know it sooner, but still fight. Is it the sin nature one's born with that causes such turmoil?

Does there have to be a constant struggle...to become more like Him?



I move through this day, can't I start again? Why does it feel like that everyday, I can't restart everyday...I'd never get anywhere!

My life is cracked and chiped, I can't be anyone's rock. I am grateful for the imperfections for they make me who I am, they make me touchable, reachable, real!

I read these words Psalm 31:2-4 and pray...

Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.

Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.

Show me. Show me!

Blooming Out of Season

Well here we go again! I actually began blogging a couple years ago with this very topic, gardening. We always have the best of intentions in this area but never seem to get it quite right. Armed with top soil, gifted broccoli and cauliflower sprouts I give it another try. With great expectations of a little green patch!

My crazy Red Head and I planted 3 cauliflower. It was well past their October~January season but what the heck...let's give it a try!

We dug places for 3 broccoli, them also past their season which ended in January. We watered the new ground and hoped for the best : )

As you can see those little gifted seedlings did quite well. Two of the cauliflower just never really got going but one held on as long as it could. It actually grew a tennis ball sized harvest before it kicked the bucket. Only one of the broccoli died while the other two grew and grew and grew. To be honest I had no idea what to expect. I have never seen a broccoli plant. I typically make a trip to the produce stand and pick up a couple packaged heads with out much thought about what I'm steaming up for dinner. I wasn't really sure when I needed to harvest the crop from these two waist high plants.

Well, apparently I waited a little to long. Upon my arrival to the garden that morning I was guite surprised to find beautiful little yellow flowers all over the heads of my broccoli...they bloomed! I had no idea we eat the flower buds. I won't lie I was bummer to find they had bloomed but at the same time pleasently surprised to realize we eat the buds.

Amazing to me as I write about my simple adventures in gardening how God can teach me. I think while plunking the keyboard how he can use us, even when we think our "season" is over or has passed. God's plan is so much bigger than we will ever be able to fathom. His plans will succeed, and He will be glorified.

Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 19:21

Just a thought to ponder:

We can choose to keep ourselves within self made boundaries or we can bloom out of season!

Simplicity

It's now that I am reminded of how simple pleasures can excite, uplift and soothe.

Tuesday's dawn upon us, we stretch, nourish and begin our mind expanding.

I woke them only after taking my time. We move through the warming almost spring morning. They sit in tree forts and tree stands maybe trying to get closer to Him. The sun warming they're backs and the sky's expanse for them to dream, sing, and praise Him. Daddy arrives and the day is underway.

Lessons learned and lunch on the table.

Little man is out in the world again and we hear him coming. Barreling through the laundry door, he's yelling "eggs, I found eggs, The chickens laid eggs!" We aren't hungry, the adrenaline has filled our bellies and we are stunned. With wide eyes we all run...grown mommy and daddy, the frog princess, we run. Our feet stomping the new sprigs of grass, we follow him hoping it's true. Six months have passed...there's been much waiting and much watching. Sure enough there they are, two freshly laid brown eggs! And we linger for one hour and one half soaking up the moment, in awestruck excitement. We are proud! Proud of our patience, love and simplicity.

What it's supposed to be like!

Today they amaze me, they encourage me to press on, they listen and work excited for what's to come.

A couple weeks ago we decided to bring our little man back home to us. So scared and unsure of the decision I was but I trusted that God was speaking through him, the daddy of our home that is. Through constant prayer and laying before our Lord, my family, it's beginning to show the surrender, the willingness to do what is not our plan but HIS!

Today is amazing. We began with stories read by the princess of 11 and we listened to the rhymes, the cadence of the words, and smiled. Then without pressure we parted, readied ourselves for the day and meet with Him! Each on our own, even Mr. Independent himself. He sat in his quite time spot, a chair just like daddy's and visited with his God for a few minutes through books, music and innocent prayers. The princess did the same adding her scriptures to read chronologically through the Bible this year.

I LOVE THIS!

Then came the other stuff...Language Arts, Math and Reading.
We love this stuff too but not quite as much as time with HIM! Of course we enjoy learning the lessons needed to succeed, the fascinating stories of American History and exactly how to write each letter correctly. The bios of our founding fathers and classic Golden book stories like The Poky Little Puppy.

Everyday does not always look like this, sometime there are rabbit trails, behavior to encourage and hearts to train but as for today, this is it and I'll take it!

Now we are done for the day... off to the library to return things borrowed and find new treasures.

All's complete but laundry, dinner, dishes and the lessons we sneak in along the way.

Point your kids in the right direction

when they're old they won't be lost.

Proverbs 22:6
(The Message)

Week Three: Who exactly do you think you are?

My mind tries to fathom who you are. My brain reaches to understand your majesty but it is impossible to take in all that you are.

The one who "laid the foundations of the Earth and gives order to the morning". The God who knows "when mountain goats give birth and who gives the horse it's strength". The one who "has seen the gates of the shadow of death and sends the lightning bolts in their way".

Oh God of the universe, expand my mind with more of you! Fill me with more of your presence, and Father, when I am prideful and think I know all remind me as you did Job of your Majesty. Remind me that you and only you know all things, that if I can't wrap my brain around your creation, what makes me think I will understand your ways!

Trust, Faith in you is vital!

And when I realize my insufficency, Lord let me Praise you.

Job 38-41

Week Two: What's going on?

Well, a bit behind but it's all good!

God's got me right where he wants me :)

The past week has been unexpected to say the least. Saturday the 9th was the start of the craziest day we've had in a long time. Faith was hanging out with a girl friend at her house, Bill was on duty at the Fire Dept and as for myself and Ty, well we started the whole mess!

We were enjoying the quiet house and beautiful day then Ty decided to play outside while I sat at the dining room table to do some reading in my bible. As I wrapped up the remainder of the reading for that day, I kid you not, I finished the last verse and heard a blood curdling scream from outside! Being the mom of this kid, I paused for a moment and listened for more, which would give the indication that he was not kidding! The second scream came and I was like "grease lightening", up from the chair and out the door I flew. There was Ty running towards me, holding his face and screaming that the dog had bit him. I took a look and yup there was definitely an abrasion. It looked more like a cut than a bite but either way it was gonna need some medical attention.

To make this painfully long story short, we spent way to much time in the ER waiting for stitches that never came, nor did any sort of cleaning agent. The wound was sealed up with a kind of super glue for skin and we were sent on our way. Upon my arrival home from the ER with Ty, Bill called to inform me he was being taken to the ER for chest pain. This was going to be a long night!

After running some tests and an overnighter at the hospital, the doctor couldn't seem to find any reason for the sudden pain. Sunday after church Bill was being discharged and Ty's germ infested wound was now dangerously infected and had to be delt with! Monday and Tuesday we had Dr's appointments, a follow up for Bill that showed an arterial blockage and traumatizing procedures for Ty, where the skin glue (dermabond) had to be ripped off to allow the infection out. The following days we simply had to clean it and redress it with gauze ect. Bill was scheduled for a heart cath which revealed NOTHING! The blockage was there...then gone, Prayer works people!

Putting all our immediate family emergencies aside, my extended family seems to be literally falling apart! Ministry is proving to be a daunting task, My kids are pecking the very flesh off my bones and I feel totally insufficient to deal with any of it.

I know I can't deal with any of it on my own

but remembering it is the challenge!

That is why I believe God's got me right where he wants me...totally striped of the control I thought I had and bare, waiting on Him, trusting Him and being reminded of His power. Power to give it all and take it all away. That's exactly what happens in the book of Job. Over the last week and a half that's where He's got me reading His word, in the book that paints the picture of blessing through suffering.

I know, too often I think it's all about me and the things that happen

or don't happen have everything to do with me.

Not to mention that sometimes it feels like I didn't do anything

to deserve the suffering I feel.

But

What if it has nothing to do with me?

What if it is solely to prove His power?

What if it has everything to do with glorifying and praising Him!

"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"

Job 2:10

Week One: What a beginning!

How can you believe it but not believe it at the same time?
I have never read through the entire Bible before, ever! But this year 2010 will be different...I can feel it already. I new sense of expectancy, a new sense of excitement, a desire to know all I can about the book I am to use as a road map for this life!

I began this week in Genesis, the place you should begin, The Beginning. It's interesting to me that as I read, the fact that I've heard, read and taught this story before didn't help me, it actually hendered me. I began to skim right over the words themselves. I caught myself, slowed down and really took the time to see what I was reading. It makes me wonder how often we read things and don't see them, don't take the time to soak up what the Lord has for us in it.

As I saw it, I began to realize that God created this place for us to praise Him. So that every time we see a beautiful flower, a dolphin gliding on the water, a child's precious glance, the love of a spouse, the warmth of the sun on our skin... He did each and every thing so that we would remember Him and Praise Him! Now, I know this but when you are reminded of the things you know you remember them :)

This year is going to be like no other.
I can't wait to learn the things I don't know and remember things I do!