The Practice of Love, Unconditional

As I sit in the background of quiet cartoons leading to nap time, the babies dozing and the Princess guiding them off to afternoon slumber...

I regret my choice.

You see, I had a chance just this morning to Love. To quiet my thoughts and bear his burden. To listen and not speak all the words swirling in my head.


I had a chance to express Love in the kindest way...without condition.


Managing to make it thorough another 24hrs of the second life he once loved to live. He made the stop before home, the one for all our comfort, the same one every 3rd day, to release the busyness, the stress, to make the switch from being "on call" to being husband, daddy.

Exercise releases all that, eases the transition.

He arrived hot and tired. The house already buzzing with little voices, pretend car engines revving and squeals from girls playing.

It can be a lot. The pressure.

He needed me to listen, I did, but then I suggested and added pressure.

When the hose is charged, pressure added, if the seals not tight it will burst. Every time.

I didn't make sure the seal was tight.

What if I had been quiet, just listened? Been honoring? I thought I was but when there is even just a hint of self it doesn't come across that way.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I am sorry for adding stress, for assuming, for implying, expecting and Loving with conditions.

I will keep practicing: LOVE!

Not the same old stuff, again?

Redundant, what is He trying to teach me in the same place I was!

Beat up, feeling worth less than I know He sees.

Do we always come back over and over, just a little farther than before? This time I know it sooner, but still fight. Is it the sin nature one's born with that causes such turmoil?

Does there have to be a constant struggle...to become more like Him?



I move through this day, can't I start again? Why does it feel like that everyday, I can't restart everyday...I'd never get anywhere!

My life is cracked and chiped, I can't be anyone's rock. I am grateful for the imperfections for they make me who I am, they make me touchable, reachable, real!

I read these words Psalm 31:2-4 and pray...

Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.

Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.

Show me. Show me!

Simplicity

It's now that I am reminded of how simple pleasures can excite, uplift and soothe.

Tuesday's dawn upon us, we stretch, nourish and begin our mind expanding.

I woke them only after taking my time. We move through the warming almost spring morning. They sit in tree forts and tree stands maybe trying to get closer to Him. The sun warming they're backs and the sky's expanse for them to dream, sing, and praise Him. Daddy arrives and the day is underway.

Lessons learned and lunch on the table.

Little man is out in the world again and we hear him coming. Barreling through the laundry door, he's yelling "eggs, I found eggs, The chickens laid eggs!" We aren't hungry, the adrenaline has filled our bellies and we are stunned. With wide eyes we all run...grown mommy and daddy, the frog princess, we run. Our feet stomping the new sprigs of grass, we follow him hoping it's true. Six months have passed...there's been much waiting and much watching. Sure enough there they are, two freshly laid brown eggs! And we linger for one hour and one half soaking up the moment, in awestruck excitement. We are proud! Proud of our patience, love and simplicity.

What it's supposed to be like!

Today they amaze me, they encourage me to press on, they listen and work excited for what's to come.

A couple weeks ago we decided to bring our little man back home to us. So scared and unsure of the decision I was but I trusted that God was speaking through him, the daddy of our home that is. Through constant prayer and laying before our Lord, my family, it's beginning to show the surrender, the willingness to do what is not our plan but HIS!

Today is amazing. We began with stories read by the princess of 11 and we listened to the rhymes, the cadence of the words, and smiled. Then without pressure we parted, readied ourselves for the day and meet with Him! Each on our own, even Mr. Independent himself. He sat in his quite time spot, a chair just like daddy's and visited with his God for a few minutes through books, music and innocent prayers. The princess did the same adding her scriptures to read chronologically through the Bible this year.

I LOVE THIS!

Then came the other stuff...Language Arts, Math and Reading.
We love this stuff too but not quite as much as time with HIM! Of course we enjoy learning the lessons needed to succeed, the fascinating stories of American History and exactly how to write each letter correctly. The bios of our founding fathers and classic Golden book stories like The Poky Little Puppy.

Everyday does not always look like this, sometime there are rabbit trails, behavior to encourage and hearts to train but as for today, this is it and I'll take it!

Now we are done for the day... off to the library to return things borrowed and find new treasures.

All's complete but laundry, dinner, dishes and the lessons we sneak in along the way.

Point your kids in the right direction

when they're old they won't be lost.

Proverbs 22:6
(The Message)

Week Two: What's going on?

Well, a bit behind but it's all good!

God's got me right where he wants me :)

The past week has been unexpected to say the least. Saturday the 9th was the start of the craziest day we've had in a long time. Faith was hanging out with a girl friend at her house, Bill was on duty at the Fire Dept and as for myself and Ty, well we started the whole mess!

We were enjoying the quiet house and beautiful day then Ty decided to play outside while I sat at the dining room table to do some reading in my bible. As I wrapped up the remainder of the reading for that day, I kid you not, I finished the last verse and heard a blood curdling scream from outside! Being the mom of this kid, I paused for a moment and listened for more, which would give the indication that he was not kidding! The second scream came and I was like "grease lightening", up from the chair and out the door I flew. There was Ty running towards me, holding his face and screaming that the dog had bit him. I took a look and yup there was definitely an abrasion. It looked more like a cut than a bite but either way it was gonna need some medical attention.

To make this painfully long story short, we spent way to much time in the ER waiting for stitches that never came, nor did any sort of cleaning agent. The wound was sealed up with a kind of super glue for skin and we were sent on our way. Upon my arrival home from the ER with Ty, Bill called to inform me he was being taken to the ER for chest pain. This was going to be a long night!

After running some tests and an overnighter at the hospital, the doctor couldn't seem to find any reason for the sudden pain. Sunday after church Bill was being discharged and Ty's germ infested wound was now dangerously infected and had to be delt with! Monday and Tuesday we had Dr's appointments, a follow up for Bill that showed an arterial blockage and traumatizing procedures for Ty, where the skin glue (dermabond) had to be ripped off to allow the infection out. The following days we simply had to clean it and redress it with gauze ect. Bill was scheduled for a heart cath which revealed NOTHING! The blockage was there...then gone, Prayer works people!

Putting all our immediate family emergencies aside, my extended family seems to be literally falling apart! Ministry is proving to be a daunting task, My kids are pecking the very flesh off my bones and I feel totally insufficient to deal with any of it.

I know I can't deal with any of it on my own

but remembering it is the challenge!

That is why I believe God's got me right where he wants me...totally striped of the control I thought I had and bare, waiting on Him, trusting Him and being reminded of His power. Power to give it all and take it all away. That's exactly what happens in the book of Job. Over the last week and a half that's where He's got me reading His word, in the book that paints the picture of blessing through suffering.

I know, too often I think it's all about me and the things that happen

or don't happen have everything to do with me.

Not to mention that sometimes it feels like I didn't do anything

to deserve the suffering I feel.

But

What if it has nothing to do with me?

What if it is solely to prove His power?

What if it has everything to do with glorifying and praising Him!

"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"

Job 2:10

How Time Flies

I can't believe I haven't posted in almost a month and haven't read any of your posts either! Sometimes its good though to refocus and gather yourself. I kinda just thought "an unintentional fast" good stuff :) Well, I'm gonna restart if nothing more my gratitude list, It was really helping me to stay thankful everyday of the gifts God has given me! Helping me focus on the things that matter.

This year, Bill and I having gone through the better part of Dave Ramsey's financial study decided to cut up all our credit cards not even leaving one for you know those "emergencies". Not having credit to spend with made us think about how much we spend at Christmas on gifts. We are starting a new tradition here at our house, that is putting Christ back in Christmas. We will only give/receive 3 gifts this year. There are 4 of us so that means only 12 presents under the tree. Whew! what a relief it is to cut down on the madness. Don't get me wrong I had a little gut check and felt the lump in my throat for a little while but now I am so excited to shift the focus for our family. We have always had Jesus in the center of our season but put all the gifts and self up higher. We will not only cut down on gifts but they will be reminders of the gift Jesus received, gold, frankincense and myrrh so our gifts will represent body, mind and spirit. I feel like the pressures off. We don't have to buy everything and the things we do buy will have a meaning, they won't just be random stuff.

Some of our ideas are:

Body- Heated rollers, Yard sale Scooter for $1, Hunting boots
Mind- Music lessons, Video game, Learning Games,
Spirit- CD player, Cd's, Bible sticks, Comfy chair for quiet time(yard sale or thrifted of course)

I also found a 2$ end table for my quiet time spot (yard sale) and a 25$ sewing machine(pre-bought gift from Bill for me that I couldn't pass up!)

Yay! can't wait to hear your ideas!

What is the plan exactly ?

Ever feel like you know exactly what is going on only to realize you have no earthly idea what God is doing?

That has been my life lately, asking myself things like: What is He prepping me for? What am I going through this struggle or that one for? Well, I am deciding that it doesn't matter what the end result is so long as I glorify Him in the process. So much of what we go through has nothing to do with what the actual outcome is but rather the way we go through it!

In short, I don't have all the answers but I know God is in control and if we go to Him in our lack of, in our brokenness and humbly seek His will for our lives He will come through for us.

*smile*

If you give a mom a muffin…

If you give a mom a muffin, She’ll want a cup of coffee to go with it. She’ll pour herself some. Her three-year-old will spill the coffee. She’ll wipe it up. Wiping the floor, she’ll find dirty socks. She’ll remember she has to do laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, She’ll trip over boots and bump into the freezer. Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan for supper. She will get out a pound of hamburger. She’ll look for her cookbook (”101 Things To Do With a Pound of Hamburger”). The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook. The check book is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old. She’ll smell something funny. She’ll change the two year old’s diaper. While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring. Her five-year-old will answer and hang up. She’ll remember she wants to phone a friend for coffee. Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup. And chances are… If she has a cup of coffee, Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.
by Kathy Fictorie

This was posted by a friend on another blog and I couldn't resist anymore...I love this and how closely it mirrors my life!
Hope you enjoy it!

I get to choose?

Today started out pretty rocky. I woke up late, we clamored out of bed, choked down cereal and hurry, hurry, hurry we have to go... I began the day the way I never want to!

We made it through our morning lessons in the nick of time, but not before I found myself in tears and kneeling by my bed...this was huge, I rarely see what I need in the moment and this time I knew what I needed to do. I was just there waiting for Him to help me help myself...God why? Why do I always mess it all up? Help me, Help me do your will and not my own.

The day took a turn for the better...I dropped all things seen and headed for the unseen. We had a relaxing afternoon sewing with my dear friend and I left with a lifted spirit and for Faith, a homemade treasure. God is so faithful if we will just trust Him...really trust Him!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Relating with Money

"Accountability and support are the ladders that lift us up from life's pits."

One step closer to getting somewhere, Bill and I went to class last night and laughed our butts off! This week Dave talked about nerds and free spirits uniting, basically how very different men and women are, in every way you can think of. The fact that: The #1 thing that ends marriages in America is money fights, Wow! He made it clear both should be making the financial decisions, then we are accountable to someone and that we should be teaching our kids about money. Prov 22:6-7. Lots to think about this week...

We made commitments to...save something in an emergency fund, even if it's only $4 bucks and to come to class.

This weeks homework:

• Read ch.14-18
• We are going to begin collecting credit card offers from the mail and at the end of class total them up to see how much debt we've avoided.

We have defiantly taken the first few steps needed to shift our thinking and begin taking control. We have a little tiny emergency fund started exactly 7.50% of our goal, Yay! We are on our way! I love the member resource website... very easy to use and lots of helpful tools. I feel like we already have a better handle on things, although It doesn't seem possible in just over a week but when your only spending what comes in, that's a heck of allot better than borrowing.

"The rich rules over the poor and the borrower is servant to the lender." Prov 22:7

Super Saving

"You can get anywhere if you simply go one step at a time"

Well, tonight was the first of a 13 wk class put on by Financial Peace University. Hubby and I decided to sign up for this one as we have a record of making what we "think" to be good decisions. However, our current state proves otherwise.

With that said I am excited to be part of this class although Bill won't be able to attend every wk I'll be there to take it all in. The video sessions taught by Dave Ramsey are hilarious and he really seems like he is legit, ya know not just a millionaire trying to make more, from telling you how to do things their way. Nope, not him at all, this is totally Gods way and Dave's just relaying the info.

My plan is to post what my thoughts are after each session and have some accountability to follow through with my weekly homework (which doesn't seem to heavy but this is only week 1)

• fill out the quickie budget, bring it next week
• log in to FPU member resources
• read ch.1, 2, 3 and 10
• begin saving my first 1,000.00 emergency fund

My hope is to have a better out look on how to handle our money. I also hope to walk away from this program with the tools to make wiser choices with how we spend our money. And hey, if we have managed to save a nice chunk for emergencies in the process, sweet!

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful, Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
Hebrews 12:11

Ending this Season

With the change from one time to the next,

I can see Him all the more clearly.

As Summer comes to an end...

His majesty in the sweaty days of summer, the heat of the Florida sun, cold water to cool the steaming skin. I am amazed how he planned it to move through time, everything having it's season.



And as Autumn approaches...

the heat begins to fade, cool breezes blow through the air, blankets feel cozier than ever and the dieing begins. The time for Summer fun draws to an end, the time for windows to be open and comfort foods served, rises again.

This Summer season has proved to be a rocky one, many mountains and valleys. But just as there are seasons for this earth, there are seasons for this life. High and low, beautiful and ugly...all for the growing. Consider it pure joy (every season), ... knowing that the testing of your faith develops perseverance!

God as this season comes to a close and the next takes it's place:

Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

#50-61

Struggling? short & sweet

This life can be quite unpredictable!

One day is wonderful~quiet time first thing no doubt, house chores done like that, kids happy and just fine, school day completely sweet, dinner done even early, and just before bedtime treats.

The next~ it all seems to unravel...you didn't have/make time this morning...to tired's the excuse, laundry's fallen everywhere, sink is full, what where's the juice? forgot to plan for dinner, bills unpaid, and groceries needed, something spilled on the seat!!! Great I forgot the meeting!

I am reminded this early morning that this is not my struggle, the battle has been won! Besides my fleshly feelings Jesus is still Gods son. He came to bear my burdens and to Him today I ask, Please help me keep my earthly focus on things that surely last.

Grace

I just have to say today that aside all my mistakes and impurities, I am so thankful for Gods grace(completely undeserved and unearned).

I am not unlike you during this time, I get angry and fume... I don't realize I'm somewhere else...somewhere I don't even want to be. Yet I defend the castle I've built, desperately wanting to be rescued. You are there just beyond where I think I can jump, it's only by my own faults, my own wall that I can't see you right now! I wait here until my mind is right, until the clouds drift away, until I can chip some small pebbles out and the light floods the space...Ah...now I see you, now I have the strength to come to you, now I remember!

This is How We Roll

My dear friend posted how they get back to school shopping done at their house.

http://thusfarwithgod.blogspot.com/2009/08/how-we-roll.html

Then asked how we do it. So, Here's the the Henry Herd low down.

2 kids, 1boy, 1 girl
Said boy will be attending our local charter school for Kindergarden
Said Girl is Homeschooling again for the 3rd year
All very exciting!

Said boy, happens to go by Ty. Ty is very particular about his clothing at times which can drive ME completely insane! The way things feel, the way they fit, the color etc. all issues for him pretty regularly. Said boy is wearing UNIFORMS So Ha! I say to you Ty, no more choices...However the price to be paid for sanity is high, 15$ per polo shirt, not to include the Khaki shorts (already had one pair and found 2 others thrifting for 1$ a piece) and solid color sneakers (found on Kmart special for 10$) Whew! Ty done!

Said Girl is becoming quite trendy... cutesy tops, skinny jeans, and gladiator sandals. Where did the little redneck go, heck I don't know. So due to home being school said girl, who goes by Faith gets to shop all year round. We simply pick things up as we see them on sale or in thrift stores. Not much else to say...

We have found it satisfying to remove things through the year that don't fit to our "give away" pile and then unload it all at our church's biannual free clothing event "No Strings Attached". Feels great to give it away with no strings attached, no tax right off or reward just pure giving, It's fun to see others be blessed!

That's it for us, nothin' fancy, no lengthy or expensive trips to the mall. Simplicity. Ahhh!

Sadness

Well, as I just start getting the hang of this blogging thing and my camera broke! I am so saddened by this. I do have a few pics stored but what about those moments when I could capture something new, something special?

Just as a side note I think it was that darn Uno, the chick that has much attitude! I think it could quite possibly be a rooster, guess we'll see.

I was taking a shot of the six of them fighting over a nice juicy spider they scored and POP! A loud noise was heard and Uno seen running from the scene.

Bummer, slightly A typical chicken = broken camera

Knowing your here

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving in your heart, let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6

When you feel the tension mounting, and across the busy day

only gloomy clouds are drifting, as you start to worry... Pray

~Anonymous

The past days are difficult,

I feel things building up,

And what do I do to fix it... clam up

I know how easy it is to hand over,

I've also felt my grip when letting go

but God if I'd just do it

in my life you'd show

Father calm my spirit, remind me you'll never leave

take my hand an hold it as I withstand this forceful breeze

Make me lie down Lord, in your pastures green

and smell the simple sweetness, from you I'll glean

Life isn't always easy, you never said It'd be

but promised to always be there

that's why you'll still find me

I thank God for His presence in my life. I'm not quite sure how things would have turned out had He not been there all along. When things get tough He doesn't budge! How I love knowing He is always here.